facebook is so weird. i go to log on and i find this photo of my good friend anna benson who passed away when we were 17. so, so strange. lots of heavy memories rushing through me. lots of good ones, too.i havent seen a photograph of her in years... and there she is, alive( so it seems) on facebook. like i could send her an instant message or something. like were still 17.
but were not. and she is truly gone. she was one of my best friends in the world.
its weird because the first thing i thought when i saw this was "how can she be here? the internet didnt even exist when she was alive." it confused the hell out of me. then i imagined trying to explain the internet to her. and the weirdness of "social networking". she would laugh as fumbled through the concept of a "world wide web" or instant messaging your friend who lives down the street. or how about a blog, anna? posting your thoughts on line so anyone in the world can read them.... i remember when we would trade our journals and read through each others lives, in the same room, then talk about it, eye to eye. teenage therapy? totally. anna helped me though lots of dark days. i named my first born daughter after her.
its really hard to believe how much has changed since she passed on. i wrote these lyrics for you, anna...
"found this old photo/you were so young/still wonder what you could have been or should have been/always forever/ always so numb.../i just want to run/burn like weeping sons/everything will change/remember me....
i will always love you for everything you taught me and for being such a bright light in a dark world. im so sorry for when i forget that you existed. i will try to remember you better. i will always be your friend.
oh, and anna..you should really check out my myspace page....
-J.B.
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